Dream Journal - KHJ. Day 39 & 40.

Long conversations in a mysterious language.
Delicate topics, which cannot be reproduced.
Even yelling.
For two nights in a row.
Bitter and uncomfortable truths were uttered.
And still.... No hard feelings.
More like in a purification process.
Everything in black and white. 

Dream Journal - KHJ. Day 38.

Again the past with all its darkness lingering in the background.
Youth years, regrets and melancholy.
All in a very odd suffocating room with moving walls.
Stumbling and falling, but getting up again and again.
We did some exercises I would say.
Up...up...up in the air now.

Dream Journal - KHJ. Day 37.

A freaking vacuum cleaner?
Playing the piano.
Sleeping.
And talking a lot on the phone, while striding through the house.
Big mirrors everywhere.
                                                           *
Day time:
- the infamous article that managed to inflame me
- South Korea stunning victory that brought me so much joy.

Dream Journal - KHJ. Day 36

My other biased four heart-broken boys shined through all night long, telling me stories...
Also...
How to stop time.
When time stops.

What are the odds?

Dream Journal - KHJ. Day 35

Ugh...ogh... what a night!
All scenes from BOF replayed over and over with a different touch.
Much talking, much connection, blankets, tight hugs.
Everything was peaceful. Everything was how it it was supposed to be. Everything was natural.
Finally, everybody else was beyond our circle just watching and waiting.
I want more of this.
It was the night when the skies opened and the worlds mingled under the healing energy. No wonder.

Dream Journal - KHJ. Day 34

Movie! Movie! Movie!
Action movie to the core.
The setting, a huge roof.
You surrounded by men. Men in black.
G-Men. Hoover's men.
The footage was done from above.
Everything looked spectacular.
Bringing them down one by one.
Me liked it. A lot.
Fighting!
P.S. In real life, mom asking out of the blue when I am going to talk to you. As if... To stop the awkwardness, the white headsets and the iPhone screen to the rescue. Your story this time. She sent you a kiss. I ended up blushing like a teenager. 

Dream Journal - KHJ. Day 32&33

Even the dreams can look like a cabbage sometimes.
Unattractive, with hundreds of curly layers, and completely tasteless if salt and pepper are missing.
This is how it looked my night world in the last two days.
In spite of your crystal clear presence in white, in a white room, checking the apps on a white phone.
GD also in it. Powerful, triggering lapses and falls into the darkest of pits.
I think he is a side effect of the wide opened channel like never before.
Still looking for an explanation, a lesson, a road to follow. Cause otherwise, this is useless for everybody and a huge waist of energy. 

Dream Journal - KHJ. Day 31

The black buzzing butterfly.
The tech guy with his face hidden behind the cap who came to sign a new contract.
Again all the people around you wanting something.
Mixed images of the past.
Impossible to describe flashes of the future.
I think even the Universe is kind of at a loss.

Dream Journal - KHJ. Day 30

I knew I talked about him right before I went to sleep.
But still... To have KJH in my dream was an unexpected thing even for me.
He is still here. This is what he said.
He seemed neutral. Nor sad, nor happy. Just being.
He talked a lot with his mother and I was a simple witness.
Then... you through the haze, still restless.
Kkumkkuneun. With open eyes.

Dream Journal - KHJ. Days 28, 29

Coconut.
Bracelets. I repeat, bracelets.
Still hiding.
The others are fleeting like spots on a photo.
Quickly, with no real anchorage.
One perfect, clear tear.
Drip-drop.
I have never seen such stubbornness.
Just open up already.

Dream Journal - KHJ. Days 26, 27.

Your cockiness and mistakes were shining brightly.
Painful to watch.
Indifference. This was the worse.
On the edge desperation.
The belly button.
And then, for two days in a row, waking up in the strong aroma of freshly made coffee.
Though... there was nobody around to make that coffee.
It was sick. And scary.

Dream Journal - KHJ. Days 23, 24, 25.

Still just a persistent hovering shadow, while the others are in for a treat. And when I say others, I mean everybody around you. Tiring like hell, even for a dream. 
Instead... days are worse now.
With acute restlessness.
And vivid flashes.
The past is still strong. Hitting hard when least expected.
Even in the middle of hundreds of people.
When alone, the cunning damned snake is showing its ugly head, trying to use its sharp fangs.
Uuljeung.

Dream Journal - KHJ. Day 22.

I have never seen a more untouchable and grieving sea.
Again a glass barrier.
It was a sad dream. A very sad one.
With empty rooms and opened and closed doors in a never-ending run.
Blinding shades of blue and grey.
Somewhere in the distance, a sparkling yellow, but jumpy and trembling.
Balgyeon.

Dream Journal - KHJ. Day 21.

OK. That was one heck of a party.
Now everybody wanted something.
Including Liza Minelli.
This was not a dream. It was a chaos.
Everybody was staying in line just to connect.
Much obliged, but the deal was different in my mind.
Your ghost still hovering in the background.
Bizarre.
I think tech support is needed.
Vanilla Sky?

Dream Journal - KHJ. Day 20.

Well, apparently the boys don't want this to be over.
Secondary routes taken.
Pleading and bargaining.
This time the smile was mine.
Also the parents discovering you and dancing.
A cool moment like no other.
Epiphany actually.
Maybe there is still a lesson to be learned.
Innae. 

Dream Journal - KHJ. Day 19.

Communications channels closed.
I am happy to see you smiling more.
Mission accomplished for now.
Fighting! :)

Dream Journal - KHJ. Day 18.

Things are not always pink.
The nightmares came too.
When the darkness wanted to steal the light and the white dog was whining in front of the closed door. Over and over again.
So much fear and dread.
Also, the glass wall. Where I could see, but you could not.
The faint smile, a shadow of what it used to be.

Dream Journal - KHJ. Special edition.

"Being with you and not being with you is the only way I have to measure time."
Jorge Luis Borges

Dream Journal - KHJ. Day 17.

:) A clear flash. So clear. With so much light.
"Never let me go. Take my hand!"
It startled me so badly, that I woke up. Two o'clock in the morning.
Useless to say, no more sleep for me. :)
Happy Birthday and may you shine bright forever. 

Dream Journal - KHJ. Day 16.

A day in which respect for you and the others prevail.
Sharing.
See you tomorrow. 

Dream Journal - KHJ. Day 15.

A dream about a walk. A catwalk.
Fashion much?
An interesting glitzy style.
And a mask covering only half of your face.
Freud would be smirking by now.
And still...
Tashi.

Dream Journal - KHJ. Day 14.

The LOL dream came in as well.
Rapping away.
"Since I was trapped/
For two years straight/
My heart an iron plate/
In the castle of hate."
The song is stuck in my mind.
I will recognize it when the time comes.

Dream Journal - KHJ. Day 13.

Crystal clear dream. No shades, no blurred images.
PJM, wearing a cute cap, was begging me to wait, to stop the insanity as he has a letter, which will be revealed to the world.
I stood still for a second, but I didn't betray you.
How could I?
The rush of all the bad things that need to be forgiven.
Yongseo.

Dream Journal - KHJ. Day 12

A night of reflection about the challenging past.
Mesmerized with the things you needed to go through. More or less similar with my own, exactly during the same period.
How is this possible?
Trying to put together all the missing links.
The symmetry of events is uncanny.
The white dots in the photo while watching your eyes with the same dots.
Flashes from the future.
Aliens.