Poisonous People

I have never believed in the motivational mumbo jumbo and in stuff like be positive and you will get positive. Nope.
But I do believe in evil. And darkness. And bad, poisonous people. Do whatever you can, to stay away from them!
I know they are not always easily to spot. Sometimes they steal 4-5 years of your life before you could do anything in this regard.

Listen to your instincts. Don't push at the back of your thoughts the unpleasant tingling that warns you from time to time.

Do they seem too good to be true? It won't last. The first mistake they will make will be a big one. And you will tend to say..."Everybody makes mistakes. It won't happen again". It will. And they will force you to find excuses for the mud they spit on you.

If two of your other friends raised at least one time their eyebrows about a situation you and the bad people were in, you have a "winner".

Check your health and your energy levels regularly . If you register signs of deterioration in any of these, you definitely have evil people in your life. Who are very close to your heart and to your soul. The more you give to them, the more they take from you, without giving back anything to you. Except small portions of poison.

Will you lift their spirits up, but they never do this in return for you? Bingo.

Do you feel sad, without an apparent reason? It's your defense mechanism yelling at you to look around.

Do you feel like crying, again without a proper reason? It's your brain struggling to get into the "fight and run" mode, so you can save yourself from the irreparable damage.

Listen to their laugh. If it always stops at the throat level, an alarm flag should slap your face. This is maybe the most subtle sign that you have in your life a walking killing machine that eats you up.

Ultimately, take a step back once in a while and be honest to yourself. Do those people you love and care for... really deserve your love and care? Analyze the facts. Listen to your guts.

Do not ignore the tiniest, smallest doubt. It might save you from years of sorrow and illness.




   

Nightmares, problems, struggles or challenges?

This last year has been a nightmare on a personal level. And I am not an easy user of the heavily burdened words.
This last year I have gone to hell on a daily basis. Up and down, up and down. In a merry-go-round move like, only the merry wasn't merry at all.
This last year I have taken finally some critical decisions on all levels. The multi-layered crisis imposed me to do so.
This last year I have been beyond repair. Crowded from all points of view with no escape whatsoever. At first sight.

The purulent abscess exploded in August. By October my entire being was a pulsating bleeding flesh.

This is when I stopped all my internal engines from grinding, roaring, hushing, sweeping, screaming and I froze myself in time.
This is when I talked to myself. A long, raw and merciless conversation, in which I slapped every centimeter of me giving a shit (pardon the French) about the constant whining.
This is when I also decided that, in spite of my hideous wounds and the emaciated soul, I had to love and respect myself more.

I had hit the bottom. We humans like to stay in the warm, black mud of our personal misery. Pigs are way cleaner than us. They actually run as far as possible from their fecal matters. We don't. Most of the time.

And this is how I forced myself to look up to see some light. Nothing.
And this is how I didn't give up and I looked again. And stared. And it was hurting.
And this is how after a couple of months there it was. High up in the darkness, a needle of a ray. Teasing.
And this is how the nightmare turned into a problem.
And this is how I found solutions. Some good, some bad.
And this is how problems turned into struggles. Sweating days.
And this is how I discovered I was still strong and able to face them.
And this is how struggles turned into challenges.
And this is how I came to love my challenges.

Because challenges are for ambitious people. Because challenges are for the strong ones. Because challenges are for cool people.

And I am one of them now.  

LET US MOVE, FOLKS!

Sometimes, we need life to push us back a little bit in order to move forward. Otherwise we find ourselves stuck, trapped, limited within our boundaries. And then we indulge ourselves in the warm daily routine: wake up, the morning coffee, the traffic to our job, then calling some friends, going home, taking care of kids, the pets, watching some TV, Facebooking, Twittering, Orkuting or whatever and then the sweet bed.
It is true, for many people in the world this picture sounds like a perfect thing, especially if you are homeless, jobless and all the other „less”. But this is not the point, as one day, „bang!”, it hits you: you lose your job, you lose your house, you do not have money for school, you get ill, you are stolen, your spouse betrays you, you fall, you cannot feel anything...
That moment you ask God or life or the world or your friend: „Why me?” „Was I so bad?” „Did I made anything wrong?” „Is it faith?” Unfortunately we will never find the answer. But the beautiful part is that we can do something, we gather our strengths to find a solution, we suddenly discover that we have a big power: to think and to do something about it. The result might not be the one we dream of, but we accomplish something more important: WE MOVE.
We free ourselves in the searching process and we learn new things. It’s up to us if we become better persons, but the chance has been given. So, folks, let’s move, let’s do something new, it doesn’t matter what. Either is helping a neighbour, or taking a new course, or talking more to the children, or reading an author we do not like, or joining a volunteer organization, or learning a foreign language, let’s do something new.
We have one life, as far as we know, and it would be such a pitty to waste it without trying all the things it has to offer. Life is smart; don’t get angry with it when it pushes us back in order to move forward.